20-something-year-olds

Welcome to my blog!! I was encouraged to start this blog by a very close family friend. Hi San!!! lol. Now, this isn't for just anyone... no, this isn't for the sensitive or the weak-hearted individuals. What I plan to do with this blog is to document my sincere thoughts on pretty much ANYTHING I feel like talking about. You may find something here that catches your eye, or intrigues you. If that's the case-- come back, invite a friend, post a response. I WILL respond. If not, move on, don't return--but, still, tell a friend and post a response!! Lol. Let me give you a little background about me. I am a 26 year old, black female living in suburbial Georgia. I have grown up here and I adore it here. I am the oldest of 7 siblings-- 5 sisters and 2 brothers. I have 4 great parents--yes 4 (people get divorced and re-married). I have worked since I was 14 and have always liked having responsibility although it was brought on a little early. Now---enough about me--- onto the first blog:
Well, today I realized that I'm not getting any younger. Yes, I said it-- any YOUNGER. A lot of older women seem to think that us 20-something-year-olds don't go through any real problems. We do!! For the past three years, I've been struggling with a lot of self doubt, unsure feelings, lostness and overall anxiety. I believe last year I went through a serious bout of depression. I understand that women 30-40 typically are the ones who think they're alone in this area and may say we're crazy thinking we're having issues, but really ladies-- why don't you forget about being 37 and remember what it was REALLY like in your 20's? You were all there!! I hear my older role models (including my mother) say, "Oh please!! Ya'll don't know anything about depression. You're just starting. The worse is yet to come." But, that's my point-- WE'RE JUST STARTING. Honestly, do you all remember how horrible it was when you were trying to figure out where you wanted to go in life? What you wanted to be? What was holding you back? Remember those days? Now, I do believe that most of the older women I know were either married with kids or a single mom at my age and most of their life was about survival for their families. Several of their dreams had to be put on hold for that time and some had to be put on hold perminently. So, maybe now that their kids are grown--- they may be just now going through their "20's"while being in their 40's. Being 26, unmarried, no kids, no house, and no career is really, really taxing on one's self-esteem and overall self-image. Now, I'm not saying that I didn't have options because, trust me, I did. I got into a really great school, but ended up dropping out because of a tragic accident. I was planning on returning after I coped with my loss, but I got caught up in the world of one of the worse addictive jobs out there-- waitressing. Fast money, cash everyday, free food, fast paced environment and no real background in the field was needed. What more could I ask for? I was so caught up in that world and ended up associating with the wrong crowd, doing the wrong things that eventually got me in a situation I couldn't dig myself out of. Back then when I was about 18-21, I was living in the fast lane. Not only was I not paying attention to my spending (I was getting cash everyday-- no paycheck-- if I needed extra, I'd pick up a shift), and I wasn't focusing on my credit. I had a car repossessed, credit cards maxed out, not paying on traffic tickets, and I was truly on a downward spiral. I have yet to ever be stable. Now, I'm not saying this is every single 20-something-year-old out there, but trust me, this is about 75-85% of them. I don't ever think finances was taught to me as a young person. Anywho--- I've also never been married and never been in a relationship long enough to even reach that point. You know why?? Because I've never considered myself stable enough or comfortable enough with myself to be ready to committ. Everything ties into everything. As I embark upon my 27th birthday and the last year before my 10 year high school reunion, I realize how sick it is to be this age with no savings, bad credit, no degree, no training, no career, no house.... basically NOTHING to show for my life. Why would I drag a man into the equation? I've yet to get myself together, therefore, I'm not married and have not had the blessing of a child. Trust me, older women, this is granted as a crisis in my book. Lol, it's funny how I try to do things positively and take 2 steps forward... only to have something from the past 5 years to come right back and bite me in the rear. So, what I'm looking for now are comments, words of encouragement, wisdom, thoughtful insight, prayer, whatever seems to move you-- from all the older women out there. I also wanna know if there are any women in my age group who feel the same way. If so, please, please invite others to read my blog and give me their opinions. Feel free to pass this on to whoever you think needs the encouragement or to whoever you feel can do the encouraging. On the flip side, if you disagree with any of the things I have said--- go ahead and leave your comments as well. I am all ears. Tune in again guys!! Good day, afternoon and night to all.